Thursday, June 01, 2006
Pretzel party
I found out this morning that she's been seeing the bus driver and lying about it. I discovered this by removing her phone from her jeans pocket as she slept this morning, taking it up to the roof, and reading all of her text messages. Highlights: "I just want u to hold me," and "I miss you," to which Annie responded, "I miss you more."
So I went downstairs in an enormous pair of red basketball shorts (looking good is the best revenge) and a sleeveless grey sweatshirt with grease stains all over the front, grabbed a 2-lb. bag of salted pretzels, and hurled them on the floor.
I have been preached to about the importance of us being alone, figuring out what we want, and reflecting on the relationship with honesty, by a person who already has serious feelings invested in another eager and accessible person.
When I confronted her she shook her head and smiled, and covered her face with her hand. She said, "I've talked to her a lot more than I let on. But it's not what you think. I hardly know her." She said little else. I then went to 7A with Shlo, where I sobbed for two hours. Then I got my hair dyed and bought a pair of sunglasses. I figure if I continue stringing together a series of petty little activities for myself with the people I love, I'll recover sooner rather than later. I've been abandoned for an illiterate deadbeat mom with no teeth and a severe eating disorder. I want to crawl into a hole and write bad poetry about heartbreak. I need to learn how to cope with this, but I can't fathom how. I want to not be self-conscious about this post, but I am.
So I went downstairs in an enormous pair of red basketball shorts (looking good is the best revenge) and a sleeveless grey sweatshirt with grease stains all over the front, grabbed a 2-lb. bag of salted pretzels, and hurled them on the floor.
I have been preached to about the importance of us being alone, figuring out what we want, and reflecting on the relationship with honesty, by a person who already has serious feelings invested in another eager and accessible person.
When I confronted her she shook her head and smiled, and covered her face with her hand. She said, "I've talked to her a lot more than I let on. But it's not what you think. I hardly know her." She said little else. I then went to 7A with Shlo, where I sobbed for two hours. Then I got my hair dyed and bought a pair of sunglasses. I figure if I continue stringing together a series of petty little activities for myself with the people I love, I'll recover sooner rather than later. I've been abandoned for an illiterate deadbeat mom with no teeth and a severe eating disorder. I want to crawl into a hole and write bad poetry about heartbreak. I need to learn how to cope with this, but I can't fathom how. I want to not be self-conscious about this post, but I am.
