wine and cheap perfume

Last night we were at this party called "Stache," which may or may not have had anything to do with the fact that JD was spinning. It was Pink Trasy's b-day. We got to the door and this enormous drag queen was all, 'I don't want you to think that I'm a door wench, so here's a drink ticket!' I was like, thanks, but what about my girlfriend? She takes one look at Annie and acts like she's gonna fall of her stool and says, 'God she's hot!' and ushers her in graciously without giving her a drink ticket. So we're inside and Jordan is dancing on a table naked dumping a bottle of vodka all over this group of people, one of whom was Alan Cummings. A little while later he stumbled off the table and came over to meet Annie. It's a little hard to give an ass-naked, completely wasted underage gay boy the cold shoulder, but I did what I could (you're welcome, Yake). So I go downstairs to go to the bathroom and who do I run into but Alina, and we had a suprisingly pleasant little chat about how funny it is to be an actual female who is constantly being mistaken for a tranny. Like, we should be offended by it but we just aren't. And then I looked at our reflections in the mirror as we pounded on mountains of lipgloss and I thought, 'we actually do look a lot like trannies right now.' We also talked about how life in San Francisco, where she just lasted for all of two months, and the whole time I'm thinking, 'i'm getting along with someone who mercilessly stalked my girlfriend!' I went back upstairs and found Alan Cumming draped seductively over Annie's lap, laughing extra hard at her jokes and stuff, and I was all, 'am i gonna have to fight Alan Cumming for my girlfriend?' It turns out that as soon as I went downstairs, he charged up to her and announced gleefully, "Let's talk about lesbians and fisting!" The reason being, he was planning on fisting a lesbian friend of his later on that night, for curiosity's sake.