wine and cheap perfume

So it turns out that my grandma has a broken pubis. In other words, she broke her crotch bone, which is funny because the word 'pubis' is funny, but sad cause my grandma is hurt. My uncle got home and called 911, and two EMT guys came charging into the apartment about two and a half minutes later and started fondling my grandma's lower back in attempts to identify exactly what was wrong. Chloe and I rode in the ambulence with her and the EMT guy who wasn't driving spent the entire ride bragging about how many horse births he's witnessed back on his farm in the Dominican Republic. This morning I was sweating bullets on the stairmaster when I hear over my shoulder, "So how's grandma?" The EMT guy was squatting in this really dorky position trying to lift this enormous barbell. Small world.