wine and cheap perfume

Annie, Melissa and I just had a heated debate about the Mariah Carey song, "We Belong Together." There's this one line where she goes, "Who's someone gon' lean on when times get rough?" Annie insisted she was saying, "Whose shoulder am I going to lean on when times get rough?" Annie was wrong. What's sad is how Melissa and I arrived at this conclusion. Since getting cable, and more specifically, channels on demand, I've been abusing it mercilessly. So we replayed her video on AOL music On Demand about seven times in a row. That's how we decided who was right. Cause, you know, it matters.
Today I went to see an endocrinologist because my mom thinks that I have "hormone issues," and that's why I'm depressed. I don't know what spawned this theory, but I decided to go because I love my mother and I want to make her happy. So at four o'clock, a six-foot lady doctor with permed bangs weighed me, took my blood pressure, and fondled my breasts in an over-airconditioned office on the upper west side. She then bombarded me with questions:
Dr. Albu: Have your feet gotten bigger lately? Have you noticed any unnatural hair growth on your chest?
Me: No.
Dr. Albu: (as she inspects me suspiciously) Have there been any changes in your face lately? Has your jaw become broader?
Me: No. Are you kidding?
Dr. Albu: No.
Me: Why are you asking me these questions?
Dr. Albu: Just to be safe. Come back in two weeks, after I've had a chance to review your bloodwork.
Me: Eat my balls.
I didn't really say that, but it would have been amazing if I had. Annie and I came back downtown and ate loads of meat at a Dallas BBQ. Then we came home and I started crying for no reason, but then we discovered this game that made me feel better: try making out with someone with just one eye open. It's hard!