wine and cheap perfume

Today I saw the most ridiculous show ever, Mamma Mia. The reason? My football-watching, pork-chop guzzling, home-repair guru of a father is an avid Abba fan. Other favorites of his include Peter, Paul, and Mary, and Jewel. Regardless, my mother surprised him with four tickets for Channukah/Christmas, so we went to see it today. Annie came, and that was scary cause it was the first time in two years that we've all been out together. Fortunately things went smoothly. The show was so bad I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Like, take the worst high school play you've ever seen, pair it with a straight-to-dvd disney film, and infuse all the most ludicrous parts of The Sisterhood of the Travelling pants (what's truly ludicrous, though, is that i just made that reference). That's mamma mia. The set was terrible, all the allegedly straight male characters were raging flame-bags, and none of the women could sing. The costumes were embarrassing, and in the car on our way back downtown, we all discussed why and how it's become such a smash hit.
I reasoned, "Perhaps because a bunch of dorky out-of-towners come to New York to see what they think is a hip Broadway play, and they can relate to it so they, in turn, feel cool?" Like, if midwestern baby boomers (the majority of the Broadway theater-going population, i think) get all the jokes and are revitalized by the ultra-cheesy sing-along roster of songs ("Take a Chance on Me," Waterloo," etc) then they get to go home to Wisconsin feeling like they conquered New York. Back at the dental office, in a reindeer sweater, they can casually tell a co-worker that they just "did New York," and then shovel a fistful of candied nuts into their meaty little pie-holes with a smug grin.
I've lived in New York for 25 years, and I've never done it. I've gotten reamed by it. But I've never done it. I love it, but it's a masochistic thing. I'm not gonna get all Carrie and say something like "New York is my boyfriend-and NOBODY talks shit about my boyfriend!" but I will say it's the only place I feel at home, even if home isn't such a happy place to be.