wine and cheap perfume

I just came from a big concert venue, where a friend of mine was working on a magazine shoot with an early nineties supermodel and a band I've heard of a million times but had no real idea what they sounded like. Now I know. When I first got there, I found two tiny Japanese women slathering the model's face with makeup, and the band doing a sound check on the stage. Obviously I made a bee-line for the food table, and then, with a plate heaped high with an assortment of grilled vegetables and pastries (they cancel each other out), I took the only available seat in the joint. This seat happened to be right next to the model herself. Many times people say that when they see supermodels in person, they're even more beautiful than they are in pictures. In her case, I'd say she looks just as beautiful as you'd imagine, which is insanely so. She's like, 6'2, was wearing this huge, hideous purple t-shirt, had her hair styled in an afro, and looked completely gorgeous. She looked at me quizzically as I sat down next to her with my enormous plate of food. Pretending to be completely okay with the situation, and not remotely self-conscious, I casually stuck my fork into a piece of asparagus and tried to lift it to my mouth. It made it half-way, and then slid off of my fork and onto my vagina.
Shalom averted her eyes quickly as I tried to pluck the greasy spear from my crotch before anyone else noticed, but it managed to leave a long, greasy imprint that was less than flattering. At this point I also noticed the stylist, the hair assistant, the photographer, and one of the band members wives all looking at me with distain, and their message was clear: "What is she doing here? And why is she sitting so close to the model?"
It's sort of my hobby to be defiant and stubborn even when I don't have a valid cause, so I slowly finished eating before sauntering towards the garbage can, empty plate in hand. Obviously I tripped on my way there and dropped it, but I didn't care. I had made my point. What point might that be, you ask? I don't know. But I made it.