wine and cheap perfume

Today was my first day at the web mag, and it was weird. Everyone was very nice, I had just forgotten how strange office life is. In the orientation meeting this morning, it was explained to me that it is important to keep the fridge stocked with 2%, skim, and soy milk at all times, cause the staff members are "serious coffee drinkers." Already I was laden with serious responsibility! Then I received my first assignment, which was to prowl for noteworthy sex scenes in a couple of books for the section of the site that honors noteworthy literary sex scenes. I prowled, I found some, I returned the books with pages marked. Then I realized that the weird smell emanating from what I thought was the back of my desk chair was actually my vest, and that my dog had somehow pissed on it, it had dried, and I had worn it to work on the first day of a new job. That's what you get for wearing something that you found in a heap on the floor. Feeling queasy and under the weather, I walked home. Another day, another dollar. Or something like that.